Generally speaking, the people who work in hotels are Mexican. I'm not being rude. It's true. If you make beds, replace light bulbs, or drive a van for a hotel and are not a Mexican, you are in the minority my friend. Sí, Thees ees truu.
So anyway, the hotel at which I am staying is not different. The Springhill Suites Marriott employs at least a dozen non-english speaking Mexicans. They are all very nice people, I like them a lot. But there is one thing that I just can't get past: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SAYING!!
While I was waiting for the elevator today there was one such gentleman coming my direction. In an effort to be polite, and to let the man know that I noticed him I said, "Buenos Días Senior!" I mean, that's about the extent of my Spanish right there. You know, I could throw a noches in there if it were night, or a Senorita if it's a girl about my age, but that's about it. You'd think that the gentleman would know that I was just being polite. No.
"¿Verde don dios Nagra del gato?" was his response (not exactly, but you get the picture).
My face went blank, and then red, and then I just couldn't help but laugh. Uhh. "Awe hell man, I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders and jumped into the elevator. On my way up I couldn't help but wonder what he just said to me. I think he said something mean about a green cat. I can't be too sure.
Yesterday, I passed my checkride. For those of you who don't know the story, I hired on with a regional airline in June, and have been in training since. I have been in Toronto for the last two weeks, and yesterday, was the test to determine whether or not I am capable of my duties. I passed. So that's good news.
Anyway, my flight out of here is not until tomorrow. So, I've been having some difficulty filling the hours. It's now one o'clock. So, being that my fridge has to be emptied by tomorrow, I have started to drink the remaining beer in my fridge. After an hour of pacing my room, I decided to turn on the television.
God bless Canadian television.
As I flicked through the channels, I passed a program that had a lot of bright colours and movement. Now, I have been married to a woman for six years who loves colours and movement. So instinctively, I changed the channel back. What was on that channel? Some form of corporate dancing. There were twenty or thirty people dancing a choreographed dance all in sync with each other. Again, being that I have been married to Laura for six years, I have take somewhat of an appreciation for things like this.
The music was quite odd. The singer wasn't singing in English (mostly). Then I realized that none of the dancers were white. Then I realized that I was on an Indian/Pakistani network. Which brings me to my weakness. Music videos made by Arabs and Hindus. They are so terrible that I get mesmerized and am unable to change the channel. Well, between the group dancing and the pseudo-Hindu music, I was rendered useless. Besides, after a while, and a few beers, they actually started to get pretty good.
The show had been on for fifteen or twenty minutes before I realized that it was no music video, this is a movie! Hell yes! So for two hours I watched the movie Main Hoon Na starring Murli Sharma. It was a dramatization of the Pakistani and Indian conflict. There was a hero who was a military man, who infultrates a rogue group of Indian terrorists. But he's also in love with a girl. The story kind of fell off as I drank the last beer. So it might not be about any of that. What? It was in subtitles.
Yeah, I fell in love with the crazy dancing, singing and the plot that had been cut from the B reel. But basically, it was kind of a cross between The Sound of Music, Chicago, James Bond, and Wind Talkers. It was awesome. Here's a clip.
There is nothing quite like waking up to a beautiful Latina maid in the morning. Take it from a guy who knows.
Today is a day off. So today, I decided to sleep in. At 9:00am sharp I heard a tapping on the door. My room is directly next to the elevator, so I expect I was the first stop on the cleaning circuit. My response was, "No, mumble, mumble, hhhmmmppph." Apparently, I wasn't loud enough. "Tap, Tap, Tap." I got out of my bed. As I made it half way across the room, the door swung wide open. And there I stood, half naked, face to face with "Lupe." Her eyes got as big as light bulbs. "Oh! Sorry Senior!" The door slammed shut, and I stood there staring. "What the hell just happened?" I scratched my crotch, snorted my nose, scratched my chest, shrugged my shoulders, scratched my head, turned around and went back to bed. All the aforementioned scratching was not because I was particularly itchy, it's because that's what guys do on the mornings that end with "y." Today is Wednesday, so the routine was necessary.
Later I saw Lupe down in the lobby. Because I am not bashful whatsoever and because I felt badly for the poor woman, I walked right up to her and said, "I'm sorry about this morning." She covered her face with her hands, and ran away! I don't mean she politely retreated, she ran! Ben Johnson on steroids couldn't have caught this woman. I'm telling you, Mexico is missing an Olympic athlete.
Anyway, I had some laundry in the hotel dryer that needed to be folded, so I went and folded it. Twenty minutes later I returned to my room to find my room cleaned. My bed was made, towels had been put in place and I had new little soaps. "Geeze, that was quick," I thought, "I hope she doesn't think we're in love."
Annie had a blog recently with a Spanish title, and I thought, "Geeze, I'm in Phoenix; it only seems fitting that I do the same." Now, I am not one hundred percent sure that I spelled everything in the title correctly, but the first word is a slang word so the spelling is somewhat irrelevant. Really, it's a Mexican word; that is, not Spanish proper. Friends of mine who are Colombian and Spaniards tell me that it has no meaning to them. The title says "fucking hot" in someone else's language.
Why is it ok for me to write those words here? 1) It's my blog, I can do what I want. 2) It's not my language, so it's not really swearing. 3) A Mexican taught me this phrase in November of 2003 while I was standing in line at the Immigration Office in Denver. So I pretty much have my bases covered.
Anyway, this morning I slept in. Today was my day off! Hell yes. I woke up once at 8:00am (which is three and a half hours later than I normally get up) and I decided that I hadn't slept enough. I got up at ten. It was great. I sprung to my feet with a smile. That's not a regular occurrence for me. I walked over to my bathroom got naked and jumped in the shower. Still smiling I grabbed the shampoo. Because I am right handed, I squirted the soap into my left hand. That was when I stopped smiling. Where is my wedding ring?!?!? I quickly scrubbed my hair with my now naked finger, rinsed and jumped out.
Jason, my good friend and roommate was still sleeping. I turned on all the lights (sorry Jason). I dumped out all of my bags. My nine flight manuals, two study binders and about three billion highlighters went sailing across the room. Laundry hit the roof and landed in a pile in the centre of the room. "Where is it!? Where is it!?" Basically, I was Smeagol in a towel. I even looked in the refrigerator; like it was going to be in there.
I debated calling Laura right away. I even debated going out and buying another ring. My biggest fear in telling her that I lost my ring was that she would think I was out clubbing with Jason and took it off to pick up chicks. That thought was fleeting, because it would take a lot more than a ringless finger for me to pick up a girl, and Laura knows that. That's neither here nor there. I was scared to call her.
I called her and told her that I had no idea where it went. I took off the ring once yesterday in class for two seconds because it was hurting my finger and then put it back on. I always wear my ring. I wear it to sleep. I wear it swimming. When I do take it off, it is only ever off for a few seconds. It's a pretty snug fitting ring, so I don't know how this happened. Laura wasn't upset, and said that she thinks it might be because I have lost some weight. Jason thinks that it might be from the heat. I think Jason is right.
